Flame (On Hold)
by Fanfic Insanity
Summary: Max. She was a normal girl, in a normal world. At least... Until the fire. Now Max, her family dead and her home destroyed, must move in with her aunt and cousins. Will she regain a real life or will it forever go up in flame? No wings. FAX! NIGGY! Rated T for mild language.
1. Fire

Max POV

I woke with a start.

Beads of sweat raced down my forhead, making my hair stick to the sides of my face. It was hot, too hot. The heat radiated into my room, the air burning my skin.

I quickly threw off the covers, and ran into the hall. Immediately, smoke poured into my throat when I inhaled. Flames were licking the walls, crawling slowly up the staircase. Without thinking, I ran into my room and opened the window. I could feel the flames get closer when I jumped.

* * *

I was currently driving to Pheonix, Arizona. Apparently, I had an unknown aunt that lived out this way. Anne Walker. She has three kids, Ariel or Angel, Zephr or Gazzy, and Ignite or Iggy.

I was angry. Sad. Sorry. Difficult. And it was all because I had killed my family. Not litterally, but I still felt it was true. I was the only one that had gotten out alive. My beautiful sister, Ella, and always cheerful mother, Valencia Martinez, were dead. Yes, dead. Forever gone, never coming back.

No body knew it, but every night I would cry. I would cry for my loss. I would cry because I knew, deep down, I'd never see my sister again. I would cry because there would never be another lecture about how to clean cat fur the right way. I would cry because I was all alone. Being all alone isn't as choked up as it sounds. It's not a butt load of tears, or police turning up and asking you random questions. No. It's like having this giant hole in your chest. A hole that would never go away. It sat there as you ate, drank, slept, and walked. Always hidden underneath the surface.

Letting only one tear slip down my cheek, I rested my forehead against the window pane, and slowly nodded off to sleep.

* * *

"Max. Max, we're here." A voice whispered in my ear. I jumped up, knocking heads against the person who had been leaning over me. We both said ouch, glared at each other, and then got over it. That's how I was these days, not caring about a thing. If somebody ran into me, I would look at them, and then turn to walk away. Ever since _they _had passed on, I didn't see the point in arguing anymore. It just seemed stupid.

"You coming?" My social service's person name, I can't remember, asked me. I slowly followed her, dragging my suitcase behind me. The house was decent, two story. It had a little path leading from the driveway to the door, the front porch had two rocking chairs and flowers hanging from the ceiling.

Social service's person, let's name him Bob, rang the doorbell and almost immediately, shout could be heard from inside as loud footsteps rushed toward the door. Something crashed to the ground and another scream came from inside, then a middle aged women answered the door. A few stray blonde hairs stuck out from her bun and her caring looking blue eyes looked at both of us, her lips turning up into a smile.

"Hello. You must be Max. Come in, come in. Make yourselves at home." She said, gesturing us inside. A small hallway led almost straight to the stairs, to the right was the living room and to the left was the kitchen. Two doors stood in the back, and I guessed they were the dining room and cellar of some sort. Towards the back of the living room, an open door stood to reveal the laundry room. Light colors, greens, pinks, and oranges, scattered across the furniture, not really having a certain place.

"I know it's not much, but we find it quite lovely. Now, there's only three bedrooms, Gazzy and Iggy already share a room, so, you'll share with Angel. I'd be careful though, she loves pink. I hope you like it here as much as you liked your ol- *cough* Um... Why don't you go up? And I'll talk to, Henry."

So that was his real name...

I nodded, not saying a word, and walking up the stairs. Loud music came from the room to the left a the very end of the hall. I peered in to see two blonde teens dancing to BVB. I smirked, and then went to the room across the hall. I was almost blinded at how much pink was in there. Pink walls, pink bed, pink carpet, pink stuff animals, pink computer, pink... Well, everything. My mouth hung open. What th-

"ZOMG!" I jumped, startled, and turned around, getting into fighting stance. A young girl, a year or two younger than me, stood with a huge smile on her face. Her blonde hair and wide blue eyes fit her name perfectly as she stared at me, a curious look gathering in her eyes. Without thinking, I rushed past her and into the bathroom, making sure to slam and lock the door tight. After a while, I took out my small pocket knife and extended my arm.

I made a small cut just at the crease of my elbow and sighed. Even though it stung, the pain somehow took the grief away.**(A/N: This is true. I was emo at one point and it felt so good to cut. But after a while, I wanted to stop, and yet... Couldn't. Finally, I burned my scissors and pocket knives and vowed to myself to never cut again. That was almost five months ago and I'm doing good!) **Even thought I knew this wasn't the way to deal with my loss, I couldn't help it. Depression changes people.

Taking a small pen and notebook out of my back pocket, I began to write. It wasn't a poem. It wasn't a song. It was just something to express how I feel and what I blame myself for;

* * *

A New River

_A new river forms,_

_As her tears cascade across the land._

_Her heart broke, trashed and worn,_

_Lay as pudey in her hand._

_Slashed right down the center,_

_Like a gash that can't be healed._

_Revenge, so sweet and blissful,_

_Scattered thoughts across her head._

_Now, just one last pistol,_

_And all this pain would finally end._

_By: Maximum Alexandria Martinez_

* * *

I finished the last word and sighed. Nothing felt better than to write away what I felt and cut away the pain I wished not to have. If only I could have my family back. If only I could growl at my sister one last time and snap sarcasticly at my mom. But none of that would ever happen now. My mother wouldn't see her oldest baby grow up. And her youngest baby no longer had a future. I wish I could take away that fire, then I wouldn't be here and my family would.

If only our home hadn't gone up in flame.


	2. Flame

_Fire. Fire everywhere. It filled my lungs and clawed my throat. _

_I couldn't get out. Even thought the bright embers luminated the whole house, it was dark._

_Nobody could hear me scream, watch me fall, see me die. I wish I was in the arms of my sister._

_Max._

* * *

I woke up screaming.

The dream seemed so real, so vivid. It was like I was seeing through Ella's eyes and thinking her thoughts. Is that what Ella had thought when she died? That she wished to be in my arms? Was I seeing what had already happened?

"Max?" A groggy voice whispered from the other side of the room. Angel had woken up because of my scream.

"It's okay, Angel. Just go back to bed." I whispered back. I could just barely make out her form nodding and then falling into her pillows. I sighed. If only life could be as easy as falling asleep. Waking up and coming back to reality was the hard part. Now that I was awake, I knew I would never be able to fall asleep again, especially when that nightmare was still visible whenever I closed my eyes.

Sighing, I got up and headed to the bathroom, grabbing my pocket knife on the way. When I had shut and locked the door tightly, I turned to stare at myself in the mirror. My dirty blonde hair went down past my shoulders, my brown eyes staring blankly at my face. On instinct, I popped the blade out and rubbed the side with my thumb. The silver was cold, nothing like fire. I pressed the blade into my skin, carefully avoiding any veins. Before I had started, I researched the human body. Now I knew where important veins were and how I could avoid them.

The cold steel felt good in my flesh. I let a strangled noise of pleasure escape my lips and immediately held my breath. Nothing moved in the hall or bedrooms and I exhaled. Without even realizing it, I had dug deeper than I wanted. Blood was pouring freely, shining dark maroon against my skin in the moonlight. I quickly looked in the cupboards for wrap, thankful when I did find some, and wrapped my arm tightly. I cleaned up all the blood that had left my body, and then took out my small notebook again. Something had struck a cord and I had to write. I wrote words that didn't make sense in my brain, but in my hands. The strange little poem was somewhere inside me and my fingers extracted it out.

_The Devil Knows_

_Horizon sun,_

_One blue moon._

_The devil knows,_

_The tears you cry._

_Cave, give in,_

_Your not gonna win._

_Pain, torture, death,_

_Give in or suffer the consequence._

_Only you can choose,_

_The fate you use._

_Suffer, die, say goodbye,_

_To the life you'll never have._

_'Cause the devil knows,_

_The tears you cry. _

_By: Maximum Alexandria Martinez_

The words didn't even make sense to me. I was going through pain, torture and death. I wanted to suffer the consequence of leaving my family in our burning home. I had already chosen the fate I wanted to use. Suffer, die, say goodbye, were all the things I wanted to do. And I wanted to join the devil so he could torture me in any way possible. But of course... That would never happen. My sister, my mom, the people I loved, dead. Never, ever coming back. But it was only then that I had realized...

My heart had gone up in flame.

* * *

**Okay, I know it's short and you're all probably hating me right now but I had to end it there. **

**IT WAS PERFECT**

**Anyway, I hoped you guys liked and I have one question.**

**Should I do short chapters and more updates? Or long chapters and less updates?**

**Well, I guess that was two.**

**But, R&R? Tell me what you think.**

**Thanks! Bye :)**

**~Snowflake**


	3. Burn

Max POV

When I had finally fallen asleep, it seemed only minutes before I was woken up again.

Angel was standing over me, blue eyes peering into my brown, and looked jumpy with excitment. Even though I hadn't known Angel for very long, I knew when she got it excited, it wasn't something that I would get excited for. But nobody's perfect, and you live and you learn it.

Yep. I just quoted Hannah Montana.

"Max, omg! You're finally awake. Anyway, I'm dressing you for the first day of school! Aren't you just excited?" Her blond curls bounced every word she talked, and I stared at her in wonderment. How could somebody have so much energy in the morning? Especially if it's about school? I may never know...

"But you have to go get in the shower, brush your hair, and come back in these" -she stopped her sentence and handed me underwear and a bra- "that way I can tell what colors go with your skin complexion." **(A/N: Any help? I don't know if that's how you spell it.) **Angel put her hands on her hips and smiled broadly. I only nodded and headed for the bathroom.

Nothing really interesting happened there, so I'm gonna skip ahead to when we're getting dressed.

I was thankful that when I had decided to cut, I only cut on the underside of my arms. If I had cut anywhere else, Angel would have seen it when she started to dress me, but she didn't. So I was thankful. But as she was dressing me, I couldn't help but think of Ella. She would always dress me like this. Make me stand still as she poked and jabbed at my head. Even though I complained, I would never admit that I ended up looking hot. All those silly fights seemed stupid now... Now that she was dead.

"And done!" Angel called. She spun me around to look in the mirror. She had dressed me in white skinny jeans, blood red converse, and a red tank with purple lace on the front. I thought I looked okay but wasn't that interested in myself. Then I held still as Angel started working on my face. She added smokey gray color eye shadow, clear gloss on my lips, and a little blush with mascara and eyeliner. Even though I could have cared less, I thanked her, gave her a hug, and then went downstairs.

A tall kid with blondish red hair and blue eyes was cooking bacon and humming some catchy song. Another little kid with blonde hair and blue eyes was at the table eating cereal. I slowly sat down next to him and watched as he scarfed down the bowl in three seconds flat. My eyes were wide and mouth slightly hanging open when he looked up at me and smiled.

"Hi, I'm Gazzy. I have a unique gift called farting."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and the boy at standing next to the fridge laughed.

"Sorry, that's Gazzy, and what he means is that he has a powerful fart." The guy laughed even louder and Gazzy joined in. Angel came down the stairs and rolled her eyes at them. Then swiftly moved past the older one, snatching a piece of bacon as she went, and came to sit next to me.

"Boys. What are you gonna do?" She asked, picking up a magazine from the floor. A small dog was laying on top of it and she had to wake him up to grab it. The dog, a black yorki **(A/N: Is that how you spell it and say it?)**, jumped up and started to bark. It was like he was actutally talking... Or maybe it was just too early for my brain to think clearly.

"So, Max, how are you liking it here so far?" The other guy asked me, sitting down beside Gazzy. I shrugged but only so he wouldn't think I was a freak if I didn't answer. He snorted and I stared.

"Whoa, don't get too enthusiastic. But I'm Iggy in case you were wondering." I nodded. We sat in silence for a few minutes, Angel reading, Gazzy and Iggy chewing, while I just sat and stared at the table. Finally I got up and walked to the door, picking up my back pack as I went. I quickly waved at Angel, who had looked up when I walked into the hall, and ran outside.

It was October, the best time of the year, and the cold air wrapped around my bare arms. The bright colors of the leaves reminded me of the fire. With their oranges and yellows and reds, seeming to blaze against the dull brown bark of the trees. My heart seemed to tighten at the thought of the fire, but I pushed it into the back of my head as best as I could.

As I continued on the down the street, I felt like someone was watching me. If I had watched enough crime movies, I knew that the girls who turned around to check were the first to die. In my mind that makes sense, but I'm not the same as I used to be. A quiet rustle sounded from the bushes just a few feet behind me and I urged myself not to look back.

Slightly, only slightly, did I hear soft footsteps approach behind me. When they came close enough, I turned and punch the first piece of human I found. As the victim bended over, I saw that it was a guy dressed in black, had black hair, and looked like he was in a lot of pain.

"Hey! Max, I-" Iggy stopped short as he saw the dude bending over beside me, gasping in pain. I pointed to the the guy and then to Iggy as if to indicate if he knew him. Iggy nodded and slowly walked up to Mr... Let's call him, Mr. Black. Mr. Black finally straightened up and started to laugh. I looked at him funny, then started to walk away. Iggy grabbed my wrist, but I spun around and punched him hard in the shoulder. God I was violent today.

"I am so sorry, Iggy. You grabbed me and I reacted on instinct." I said to him. Iggy just rubbed his arm and glared my way. I smiled shyly, then flinched when Mr. Black came to stand next to me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Man, Iggy, bro. Your cousin has got some muscle." Mr. Black laughed as he still fought for breath. Did I really punch him that hard?

"Yeah, Max, seriously. You should join the wrestling team or something." Iggy stated, inspecting his arm where a purplish blue bruise was starting to show. I shook my head and looked at the ground.

"No, I plan on trying to blend in."

They both looked at each other and shurgged and then we started off to school again. I could see people coming out of their homes, some teens on their way to school as well, as we walked. Nobody came to greet us, so I figured Iggy and his friend were rejects of some sort.

When we had finally came onto school grounds, Iggy told me Angel would be here soon to lead me to the office. I nodded and then said goodbye to him and Fang, which I found out was Mr. Black's real name, and went to sit near the front entrance, waiting for Angel. Off to the side, a group of girls were glaring in my direction, turning every now and then to whisper in each other's ears. I shrugged it off until I saw one perticular red head staring at me.

Her red hair reminded me so much of fire, I felt like I was going to throw up. If looks could kill, she would have killed me right then and there. But I wasn't dead, sadly enough. I was still standing, body in full contact, staring back at her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fang standing near a bunch of other people talking. The girl looked towards him and then back at me. The hidden words in her eyes were very clear.

She was going to burn me like a flame.


	4. Scorch

Max POV

The day passed by normal at first. At first.

Around lunch, when I was quietly sitting under a tree reading a book, the redhead and a bunch of other girls came up beside me. I looked up at her expectedly but she just glared down at me, hands on her hips and lips pressed together in a thin line. I almost laughed at how stupid she looked. But I didn't. I don't laugh.

"So, you're the new girl. Max, right?" She asked me. I nodded, staring up at her blankly.

"Well, Max, I'm Lissa. I just thought that I should come over and tell you some information." Her hand grabbed my collar and yanked me up towards her. I choked for a split second before regaining cool and glaring into her eyes. She glared back and put her mouth really close to my ear. Her hot breath brushed against my skin and I wanted to scream. But I didn't. I don't scream.

"If you ever go near Fang again, and I mean ever, I will make your life a living hell." She let me go and I stumbled back but remained standing. I looked straight into her stupid green eyes and glared. She seemed to flinch back a little, but it was so sudden, I couldn't tell.

"For that to happen, Lissa, I would have to rewind time so that my family was still here and I didn't want to die. Now go play with your little friends and stupid jocks." The way my voice sounded scared me. And not many things scare me anymore. But my voice did. Low and calm, creepy but totally cool. I couldn't help but mentally smile. Key word: Mentally.

When they had finally walked away, looking back at me every few seconds, I sat down and continued to read. I got to a part where the werewolf was ripping the flesh out of a wicked witch, when Fang and Iggy came up to me and sat down. I jumped when I heard their voices but my face remained calm. Is that possible?

"Hey, Max. I heard that you totally burned Lissa and her posse." Iggy said, clutching his stomach as he laughed. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, then turned to Fang. He rolled his eyes at Iggy and shrugged.

"It's all over school. In a small town like this, word travels fast. I bet even the bank knows. Everyone's cheering you on." He whispered. His voice was so low, I had to strain to hear his words over Iggy's laugh. When I had finally had enough, I stood and walked over to Iggy. He was still laughing so hard, he didn't notice me sit down next to him and glare. I leaned in close to his ear, my mouth only a centimeter from him, and sucked in a breath.

"HEY, IG. DO YOU MIND SHUTTING UP FOR A DAMN MINUTE?" I screamed. He jumped up at least a foot in the air and landed on his ass with a thud. I watched as he rubbed his ear, glared at me, then pouted to the ground. I made a 'hmph' sound and faced the other way. Fang stared at the two of us in wonderment. I turned to him.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer."

God, when did I become so snarky? The last time I had totally looked at myself in the mirror, I was a blonde slut with pink streaks and a girlish giggle. Now... I was sarcastic, sad, no more pink streak, could care less about how boy's fuck me, and emo. So, yeah. I had changed.

"Sorry, it's just you guys act so alike." Iggy and I stared at each other, and glared at Fang.

"Totally not true." We both said at the same time. I shook my head, then got up to walk away. I could still hear them bickering over me by the time I entered the front doors.

~Walking Home From School

I was walking home alone since Angel got a ride from her friend, Nudge, and Iggy and Fang were trying out for the track team. Iggy asked if I wanted to stay and watch, then he'd drive me home, but I declined. The fresh air felt good against my warm skin, and my eyes wandered carelessly around the neighborhood, soaking in my surroundings.

A few blocks from the house, I heard a slight thud of feet behind me. Five boys, all jocks, and coming my way. I love my super hearing.

I threw my back pack behind a bush in case they were going to attack and kept on walking. They caught up with me five minutes later and surrounded me into a circle. One of them wrapped my arms behind my back in a iron hold. Pain seared in my wrists as his hands rubbed against cuts.

"Hey, new girl. Wanna play?" One of them sneered at me, coming into my personal space. I growled.

"Dude, seriously, RESPECT THE BUBBLE!" I screamed at him, kicking his chest. With the force of the blow, the guy who was holding my wrists loosened, and I got free. I swung on him and got a satisfied punch to the cheek bone. Another one came near me and tried to wrap me in a bear hug. I ducked and spun, ending up behind him, and kicked his ass with my right foot, sending him flying, face first, into the concrete.

The other two came forward. I bounced on my feet, ready to fight. The blonde one of the two advanced and clipped my shoulder. I spun around and shoved the heel of my hand under his nose, smiling evilly when I heard a sickening crack. The other one suddenly got a scared look in his eye as he stared at me, frozen in shock. I raised my hands into a boxing positiong as he slowly backed away.

"Come at me bro!" I yelled at him. He screamed and ran away like a frightened puppy. Arms were suddenly around me and I tensed for a split second before elbowing the dude in the ribs. He doubled over in pain and I spun around to face him. He was the one I had kicked in the chest. I kneed him in the face, totally breaking his nose, and then punched him when his head snapped up towards me. The force of both blows had knocked him out completely and I turned to the other two that were left.

The one with the bleeding nose stepped forward quickly and I readied myself. We circled each other, me being careful to avoid the other one, and him trying to figure out a way to defeat me. Seconds later, I jumped at him. I wrapped my legs around his head, and flipped over, making him come with me. The air was knocked out of him as he landed with a thud on his back. I kicked his head with one of my feet, knocking him out, and turned to the last.

Blonde hair. Turquoise eyes. Usually, I would have thought he was hot, but not anymore. He had his arms up in a 'i'm giving up' sort of way and was looking at me with wide eyes. I sneered at him, careful not to relax my fighting stance.

"Go." Was the only word I spoke, and he went. So then I was left with three unconcious jocks in the middle of Fall almost Winter.

Great. Just great.

~Entering The House

Opening the door as quietly as possible, I ran down the hall to the stairs. The only noise I could hear was the sound of Justin Bieber and Michael Jackson music conjoined. I guess Nudge was here, and Fang must also be. Deciding against the terrifying love of JB that the girls had, I walked in to the guy's room without knocking.

Gazzy was sitting upside down on a bean bag chair, Fang was laying on the bottom bunk bed, and Iggy was sitting at his desk messing with his computer. Gazzy suddenly shouted and I jumped, looking around for the thing that had startled him. It took a few minutes before I finally realized he was pointing at me.

"What?" I asked, looking confused.

"What if I had been naked!?" He shouted. Fang and Iggy were looking between me and Gazzy now, a curious expression hidden in their eyes.

"I walked in and he freaked out."

"Ahhh, and it all makes sense." Iggy said, turning back to his computer screen. Fang shrugged and kept on hitting a basketball against the top bunk. Gazzy was still pointing at me, mouth hung open, and eyes wide. I shook my head at him and threw my back pack (which I had retrieved from the bush) against the wall, going to sit in the second bean bag. His eyes followed me as he lowered his finger.

"I'm serious. What if I was only wearing my underwear?" He questioned. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Then that would make me question what you do in here alone, little cous." Iggy burst out laughing while Fang smirked. I mentally smiled to myself and turned to the TV show he was watching. Two boys, two girls, one fat fur thingy, and a lemur.

"Why the hell do you still watch Avater the Last Airbender?" I asked him.

"Because it's cool, has lots of exploding things, and that Sokka dude is awesome." He replied. I rolled my eyes at him and nestled into the bean bag even more, watching as the blind earth bender fought off a ton of different guys all by herself.


	5. Heat

Max POV

I woke up with a start.

The nightmare was more real this time.

I could actually feel the heat blister my skin and smoke clog my lungs. Ella had been there. I watched her crawl to mom's room and check on her. My mom had already died, laying on the ground, not breathing. She went the rest of the way and wrapped her arms around her. Tears streamed down her face as she took one last shuddering breath.

But then it ended...

This was all too much. Just too much.

When I looked around, I realized I was still in Iggy and Gazzy's room. Fang was sleeping on the floor next to the bed so I figured he had slept over. Slowly, very quietly, I snuck over to Iggy's computer to check the time. It read, 3:01, and I let out a shakey sigh. Gazzy stirred, muttered something about puppies, and then fell silent.

I quickly made my way out of them and into the bathroom. Thankfully, I had fallen asleep in my clothes and my pocket knife was in my pocket. I quickly took it out and dragged it on my arm. I let out a small squeal and covered my mouth. Something moved in the hall and I went to lock the door but somebody beat me to it.

Tall, dressed in black, and scary looking in the dark, Fang opened the door and quietly stepped inside. I hurried to put my pocket knife away but he saw it. Scarlet blood was shining, some darkened from age. His eyes widened and I froze. He was going to find out about my secret. That couldn't happen.

"Max, what are you doing?" He whispered, venom lacing his words. I winced and stepped back. He followed, coming right into my personal bubble and grabbing at my arm. I tried to pull back but he was too fast. The next thing I knew his hand was wrapped around my wrist, and he was staring at the cut I had just done.

It was deep. Flesh showed dark red in the night. Blood was slowly spilling past my finger tips and I yanked my arm out of his grasp, starting to search for wrap. When my cut was fully bandaged, cleaned, and gone from my memory, I turned to him. He was staring at me, but not with wide eyes. His black pupils held curiousness, determination, and... Anger?

"What, so now you're going to go tell Anne about what I do?" I hissed at him, folding my arms across my chest. He mimicked me and leaned his back against the wall, still staring at my face.

"No." I looked up at him surprised.

"What?"

"I'm not going to tell." He replied, and I let out a breath of relief. "You are."

His last words frightened me. I wasn't going to tell. I wasn't going to let people know what I did. That's the whole point I did it at night. I was nocturnal, not very active during the day. I quickly shook my head, backing up until I hit the oppisiote **(A/N: ?) **wall. He was still staring at my now frightened expression.

"No, I won't do it." I whispered, my heart freezing in my chest. It felt like someone had gotten a piece of string, wrapped it around my chest, and tightened it so I couldn't breath. I was suffocating on air. Air that felt heavy in my lungs.

"Yes you will. You can't do this to yourself, Max. It's sick and wrong."

I growled. He had no right to judge me and what I did. It was none of his buisness.

"It's only sick and wrong to those who don't understand. The pain is the only thing that takes the hurt away. You don't know what it's like to lose someone you love, especially if it's your own fault." I hissed him through the dark. He let out a shaky breath and looked at me with sorrow.

"I'm sorry that your fa-"

"Stop. I don't need your stupid feelings and your words. I don't care if your sorry that my family died. Being sorry doesn't bring them back. They're never coming back." I interrupted him, letting a single tear fall down my cheek. He came closer to me, only inches from my body when he stopped. I had no where to go. No way to escape. So, I stood and watched as he searched my face, slowly tracing an old scar I had made.

"Cutting isn't going to bring them back either. It's not going to get rid of the hole in your chest, or the saddness in your soul. I know Max, more than you know." He whispered to me. I sucked in a breath as his thumb pressed into my wrap, rubbing against my cut. Pain. Searing hot pain whipped up and down my arm.

"Stop doing this to yourself. Please." He said, pleading in his eyes. I let another tear fall, and looked down. I watched his hands trace my scars, rubbing against the old and hovering above the new. When I looked back up, his lips were only inches from mine. No, only centimeters from mine.

"Will you stop?" He asked. I stared at him, frozen. Time had stopped for me and I finally realized my situation. It was 3:00 in the morning. We were standing in the dark. Alone. Only centimeters from each other. If he just barely leaned in, his body would be pressed against mine and my lips would be on his.

"No." I whispered back. He shook his head.

"Max, you know you should stop. I know you should stop. So why don't you?" I stared at him again, my eyes trailing to his lips. I put my hands on his upper arms, an attempt to push him away, but it failed. I was still trapped, him standing just slightly in front of me, and wishing I could die again.

"Because," I started. Tears were now flowing freely down my face and I couldn't stop them. "Because, it's the one thing that replaces the loss of my family. Y-You don't get what it's like to be the only one to survive. The only one to live through fire. My life has been nothing but hell since they died. Nothing can change that except for the blade of my pocket knife in my skin." He flinched when I said the last part, but I was sobbing so hard, I couldn't really tell.

I finally put my head in my hands, trying to stop the tears from coming, but they kept rolling down my cheeks. Fang wrapped his arms around me and I buried my head in his chest. He laid his chin on my head and let me cry. It took minutes before I was able to regain control and stare at his neck. I fingered the collar of his shirt, not in a sexual gesture, just to pass my boredom.

He pulled back to look my in the face. His eyes were sad as I looked up at him, and I wished I hadn't. I knew what he was going to say. He was going to say that I was sick, disgusting, a disgrace. That I should rot in the deepest parts of Hell and never leave. That I should let the devil tear me apart limb from limb. I knew he was going to say that. I knew he was going to grimace at the sight of me and leave. He would let me stand their, crying and bleeding as I did.

But he didn't. He didn't say anything like that. He just wrapped me in another hug and put his lips to my ear.

"We'll get through this together, Max. I won't let anything or anyone hurt you. I promise."

And his promise was the only thing that I could rely on. The only thing that I could hold and know that he wouldn't abandon me. Something that wouldn't let me burn in my own dispair. I knew I could trust him. I knew I could trust Fang. And I knew that I could trust his promise.


	6. Smolder

Max POV

It had been two months since Fang found out about my secret. He hadn't told, just like he promised, but I still worried. The way he looked at me was enough to give me nightmares. His cold, black eyes were always on me, watching my every move. It was like he was trying to see when I was about to cut. In the back of my head I knew that's exactly what he was trying to do.

"Yo! Max, you in there?" Iggy asked, waving a hand in front of my face. Him, Fang, Angel, and I were all sitting at a lunch table, talking about random gossip or what not. Well, everyone else was talking, I was just... Sitting there. Shaking my head, I put a hand up to cover my eyes.

"No, leave me alone." He huffed but then turned to Gazzy, who had just walked up. When I took my hand away, my eyes immediately locked with Fang's. He was staring at me. I turned away and looked down at my uneaten food. I picked up my apple and took out my pocket knife, lifting it up to the skin. My eyes went to Fang's again to see anger and fear. I smirked and dug the knife into the apple's center, accidently cutting all the way through and slicing my hand. I looked at Fang once more to see him emotionlessly staring at my now bleeding palm.

"Oh my god! Max!" Angel shrieked, grabbing my hand and covering it with a bunch of napkins. I turned towards her and gave an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, Ang. I accidently cut myself while slicing my apple." She scowled at me before turning her attention back to my gushing flesh. The pain had already subsided due to the fact I had cut so many times, and I soaked in the feel of my blood dripping down my fingers. Angel was still frantically trying to magically sew my skin back together while I just sat there and watched. Gazzy and Iggy were now also staring at Angel and me, looking with interest at my calm demeanor.

"Max, will you please help me with this? You might bleed to death!" Angel practically shouted at me. I glared at her, a warning to shut up, and grabbed my back pack, pulling out gauze and some tape. Her mouth dropped to the ground, surprised I had all the stuff she needed. Watching me cautiously, she started back on working on my hand. I watched with little interest and was overly bored by the time she was done.

"Why do you have this in your back pack?" She asked, tossing the things over to me. I shrugged. When I looked up again, they were all staring at me, wide eyed and mouths opens. Except for Fang, of course.

"What?" I asked, folding my arms over the table. Fang was looking at me like I had done something stupid. I cocked my head at him.

"Max, why the hell do you have scars on your arms?" Iggy asked, staring at me with wide, frightful eyes. My own eyes widened.

"What?" I asked again, slowly standing up from my seat.

"Max, we saw the scars when you raised your arms to catch the gauze and tape." Gazzy muttered, staring at me from under his eyelashes. My eyes widened even more.

"I have no clue what you guys are talking about." I stated firmly, standing to full height above the rest who were still sitting.

"Max, don't even try and play it off. We saw what we saw." Angel said slowly, watching me with those bambi blue eyes.

"No. No, you didn't. Forget you saw anything." With that, I grabbed my back pack and walked off, leaving them all staring at my back.

_What. Have I done?_

~Three Hours Later; Sun Setting

I walked quietly into the silent house, my footsteps barely echoing against the wooden floor. With my luck, I hoped everyone was gone at the moment so I could just sneak into my room and sit there. All I knew was that Anne had gone out buying a few things, Gazzy vowed that he was going to the arcade with a few friends, Angel was going shopping with her friend Nudge, and Iggy was doing some running to practice for a track meet. But that left Fang. Even though he wasn't really a part of the family, Anne treated him like it. He was allowed over any time he wanted.

A shadow crept up behind him and I about screamed. But Fang quickly covered my mouth with his hand, shutting me up. I lashed out, bringing my elbow into his side. His hands dropped, letting me free. When I turned, he was bent over, gasping, like that first day we met.

"Sorry." I muttered, looking sheepishly at him. He just stared. "What?"

"You really are stupid. Aren't you, Max?" I glared at him, turning to walk into the kitchen. He followed, breathing down my neck.

"I may be stupid, but I know more than you ever could." My hand inched towards one of Anne's butcher knives. My skin tingled for a new cut, a new scar. Fang's hand moved, covering my own. It was the first time I actually looked at him... His arms, I mean. They had scars identical to mine. They were so precise, so certain. The thickest one was closest to his wrist.

"Are you sure about that?" I turned to look him in the face (a task almost impossible since he's like six foot two). Those black eyes weren't narrowed at me like they usually were. Instead of that hateful cover up, they held understanding and pain. Too much pain.

"I was. Now I'm not so certain." He clutched my wrist lightly in his palm, bringing it between us. That was the only thing separating our bodies... Our intertwined hands.

"I was exactly like you, Max. Scared, confused, dying on the inside and showing it on the out. I have scars to prove those things that I did, the destruction I thought I had to do to heal. But it was the cuts healing, not me. I was slowly destroying myself. Max, you're doing the same thing. I can't stand to see you do what I did."

"Why do you care?" My voice came in a whisper, a broken whisper.

"'Cause I can. I've lost my whole family and was the only one that survived, too. Okay? I know what it's like. I've been there."

"What happened to them?" Everything became silent. The only sound came from the howling wind outside. Our heartbeats became one, so did our breaths. Instead of answering, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I accepted the hug, needing it as much as he did.

"Something bad." His voice shattered the air like precious glass. I took the answer, hoping for a better one when he was ready. I couldn't talk about my family, I knew he wouldn't be able to talk about his.

It was as if that hug tied an invisible bond between us.

I prayed to God that bond wouldn't break.

* * *

**Author Note:**

**Oh my god, guys! I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry! You don't know how sorry I am! But now it'summer and so I'll be able to update A LOT more often. I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SO sorry!**

**Please forgive?**


	7. Illuminate

Max POV

The night slowly faded, turning into one in the morning. Angel was over at Nudge's, Gazzy had decided to stay at friend's, and Iggy was asleep upstairs. Fang and I were the only ones awake, sitting silently side by side on the couch downstairs. The soft glow from the TV illuminated us, volume down to a low buzz.

"Max, we need to talk-"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is. You can't tell a soul about what I told you toda-"

"You didn't tell me anything."

"We both know that's not true."

"Yes it is. All you said was that you were like me, destroying yourself on the inside and showing it on the out. How do I know that's not because of anxiety, some sort of eating disorder, or just being bi-polar? What if it was something besides the cutting? How would I know that?" I paused, letting out a gush of breath. "I wouldn't know it, because you didn't _tell _me anything."

He was silent. Completely silent. I swear if he didn't talk, I would-

"You have an excellent point."

"I... What?" He turned to look at me, capturing me with those god damn black eyes. Me, the depressed girl, can agree anyone could melt just looking at those eyes.

"I said, you have an excellent point."

"What do you mean?" He sighed, placing his face in his hands.

"I haven't told you anything. I haven't told anybody anything. My trust has become non-existent because of what happened twelve years ago. Twelve fucking years ago!" His voice had become a shout at the end and I immediately tensed, waiting to hear Anne stomp down the stairs and scold us for our language. Everything remained silent though, the only sound coming from Fang's heavy breathing. Quietly, I laid a hand on his shoulder. He jerked under my touch, but didn't turn to look at me.

"Fang, I'm-"

"Don't you say it. Don't you dare say you're sorry." Now he was looking at me. Glaring was more of the correct term.

"Okay, I won't say it." We sat in awkward silence after that, just watching as the characters in the screen said things we could barely hear. "Fang?" I whispered into the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think my mom and sister can see me right now? Can see what I'm doing to myself? Do you think they'd be disappointed in my decisions?" There was a pause. A long one.

"I know my parents are. Twelve years ago, when I was five, I still remember how my dad wanted me to be a football star while my mom would bug him about letting me decide what I was going to do. My little sister was only three. She had blue eyes and brown hair, nothing like me" -he smiled a little at the memory- "I remember that night how we played tag for an hour before mom said she had to go to bed. I was allowed to stay up for just ten more minutes. Dad hugged me and said he had to go to sleep because he was going to get up early tomorrow so he could be back in time for dinner. Mom picked me up and carried me to my room and tucked me" -he closed his eyes, as if trying to remember- "There were trains and cars on my comforter, the background was blue. I had a train nightlight that lite up my entire room. **(A/N:** **OMG, Fang is remembering! ha ha ha. Sorry -.-) **I fell asleep but remember waking up to the sound of something that had crashed to the ground.

I remember Mom screaming and little Raven crying. I heard my dad shout and a gun go off. I could hear my mom sobbing, pleading for them to spare her and her children. I can still hear him. I can still hear the words as if I was only five just yesterday. He told her that in the real world, evil doesn't hesitate, and then there was another gunfire and the only sound I heard was Raven's crying. But that's when the lights started flashing. All I could see was blue, red, and white. Blue, red, and white. Men started shouting, guns were going off and then a woman was talking to me, telling me it was going to be okay. I had asked her where my parents were and her expression changed. Her smile turned to a frown and tears almost brimmed over her eyes. That's when she handed me off to some other people in suits and said to take care of me. It was later that I had found out that before my parents were murdered, my father called the cops, hoping that they would get there in time to save his kids. And they did."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks, falling onto my lap. I had clenched my hands together so tight, my nails were digging into my palms and my knuckles had turned a ghostly white. My face was probably blotchy, covered in snot and salt water.

"They died in a fire." I whispered. It came out so broken, so corrupted. "I remember waking up and smelling the smoke, seeing the flames. Instead of looking for Ella and my mom, I left them there and saved myself. I killed them. I let them burn to death when I was able to escape."

"Max-"

"Did you know that Ella's last thought was of me? She wanted to be in my arms but I wasn't there because I left them to die in order to save myself." He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. I almost smiled to myself.

We are the perfect pair of messed up teenagers.


End file.
